Never Too Young To Die Hd Full Movie Download

Never Too Young To Die Hd Full Movie Download -> DOWNLOAD

a5c7b9f00b A top secret Agent is murdered, so his estranged son, a high school gymnast, teams up with his dad&#39;s attractive female partner to stop the psychopathic hermaphroditic gang leader who killed him, and now plans a major terrorist attack. Velvet Von Ragner is a powerful murderous psychopathic gang leader, but also a hermaphrodite who prides himself of being both a man and a woman. He&#39;s holding a gang rally where he announces his plans to poison the water supply and pipeline of a major US city. However, top US secret agent and double O counterpart Drew Stargrove steals a key component he needs to pull this off. After an action packed shoot out, Stargrove is surrounded and although he puts up a good fight, he&#39;s eventually killed by Von Ragner. However, the component is not on him. Meanwhile, his estranged son Lance, a talented high school gymnast, receives the word of his father&#39;s death. As part of their denial protocol, the government claims that he&#39;s been killed in a car accident, which Lance doesn&#39;t buy. Lance notices that part of his inheritance is a farm he never knew his father had, so he goes there to check it out. The only person living there turns out to be Danja Deering, a beautiful female spy, who worked with Drew in more ways than one. Two of Von Ragner&#39;s henchmen arrive thinking that she has the component and assault her. Lance arrives just in the nick of time and helps her defeat them, although his barn blows up in the process. Danja explains the situation to him and they agree to team up and stop Von Ragner. However, Von Ragner has plenty of insanely loyal, buffed and well armed psychopathic henchmen, he&#39;s a master of disguises and he doesn&#39;t stray away from murder or sexual assault, so they&#39;ll have their work cut out for them. Both sides have their own tech experts to assist them in their quest - Velvet Von Ragner has nerdy Riley and Lance has his Asian-American roommate and tech genius Cliff, who comes up with one of the most original weapons ever seen on film. I grew up on James Bond. More than that, at a young age, I was obsessed with Bond. One magical Christmas, the only gifts I got were the James Bond role playing game from Victory Games and all of the expansions. I saw every single one one of the movies, even the original Casino Royale and Never Say Never Again, the bootleg Sean Connery film that came out of Kevin McClory&#39;s legal battles with Eon Productions, the Fleming estate and United Artists. I&#39;ve seen every Bond ripoff, from Flint to Matt Helm to Dr. Goldfoot and the Girl Bombs (it helps that Mario Bava directed that one). Post Timothy Dalton, I grew bored with the more realistic Bond and never came back. I grew up with the ridiculous world of Roger Moore.<br/><br/>I get the feeling that plenty of other folks have had similar experiences, thanks to comics like Jimmy&#39;s Bastards and Kingsmen (also a series of movies). And this movie — Never Too Young to Die guest stars the Bond from my favorite of the series, the only appearance of George Lazenby, On Her Majesty&#39;s Secret Service as Drew Stargrove, but we can just pretend he&#39;s James Bond.<br/><br/>Stargrove has a son, Lance. He has a theme song. And he has a mission, to stop psychopathic hermaphroditic gang leader Velvet Von Ragner (Gene Simmons, sure he&#39;s in KISS, but let&#39;s celebrate his ridiculous IMDb page, where he&#39;s either played himself or been in some amazingly insane films, like Trick or Treat and Runaway). But his luck has finally run out. He&#39;s dead and his somewhat estranged son must leave behind his gymnastic days at college to take over his role as the best secret agent in the world.<br/><br/>Lance is played by John Stamos, mostly known for TV&#39;s Full House. This is his star turn, all fresh faced and ready to break hearts. He&#39;s joined on his mission by Vanity, who may have had a short and sweet film career, but got to be in some incredible stuff, like The Last Dragon, Action Jackson, Tanya&#39;s Island, 52 Pick-Up and Terror Train.<br/><br/>Your ability to enjoy this film depends completely on your ability to enjoy ridiculousness. And facts like this — the nightclub outfit that costume Gene Simmons wears in the nightclub scene is the same one that Lynda Carter wore for her 1980 ENCORE! special, where she sang KISS&#39; &quot;I Was Made for Loving You.&quot;<br/><br/>Read more at http://bit.ly/2jp22Nv This has to be seen to be believed. John Stamos plays college gymnast Lance Stargrove whose father is a super spy that still finds time to send him care packages. When Dad is killed by hermaphrodite Velvet Von Ragnar (Gene Simmons), Stargrove teams with sexy spy Danja Deering (Vanity) to get revenge. Oh yeah, Simmons wants to poison the water supply with radioactive waste or something.<br/><br/>Stamos brings perfect hair to his role, which is the most important thing. There are lots of scenes of him doing gymnastics. Perhaps the director was a fan of &#39;80s classic Gymkata. He also rides a dirt bike because in the &#39;80s dirt bikes were cool. One of the many highlights of the movie is when Stamos is being beaten up by two of Simmons&#39; thugs. He is crying like a little baby but then he sees a picture of his dad. Suddenly he&#39;s like Popeye on a spinach high and he kicks the crap out of the bad guys (&quot;The name&#39;s not scumbag, it&#39;s Stargrove! Lance Stargrove!&quot;).<br/><br/>Vanity is a stone fox, as usual. She also has a nude scene, as usual. Her seduction of John Stamos I will mock publicly but privately I thought it was hot! Gene Simmons is gross to look at dressed in drag but a hoot hamming it up as the super villain. Seeing him flirt with Stamos is priceless. He also likes to use his middle finger for...well, I won&#39;t spoil it. There&#39;s an Asian inventor friend of Stamos&#39; who, at one point in the film, wears an outfit that is practically every color known to man. George Lazenby plays the spy dad. I&#39;m sure some casting director beamed from ear to ear over that ingenious casting. He dresses like a Ghost Buster and uses a bulletproof umbrella as a shield. In a scene that I&#39;m certain was the actor breaking the fourth wall, Lazenby says to Simmons &quot;Oh come on, this is stupid.&quot; <br/><br/>The movie is filled with laughably cheesy music. The song that plays during Stamos&#39; first scene keeps repeating his character&#39;s name &quot;Stargrove&quot; over and over. Simmons gets to sing during his club routine (&quot;Yeeeah!&quot;). There&#39;s also a rather cheesetastic tune that plays leading up to Stamos taking Vanity to Pound Town.<br/><br/>This is the kind of movie you just don&#39;t see anymore. These days when they try to do trash like this, it&#39;s always so self-aware and obvious that it takes the fun out of it. Truly &quot;so-bad-it&#39;s-good&quot; flicks don&#39;t try to be bad on purpose. If you ever wondered what Uncle Jesse did before Full House, all your questions will be answered here. This movie is so awesome it will change your life. If you watch this, it will make a man out of you. So female viewers beware. To my knowledge it hasn&#39;t been released on DVD,a popular video chain did not even have the title listed in their personal data base &amp; it lists movies even if they cannot be ordered or in moratorium.Their explanation was that the only movies that don&#39;t show up were only released in the VHS and/or Beta formats.